Post by Sniffles on May 17, 2017 1:44:55 GMT
Forget the statistics. Let's just take a stroll. Walk, don't run, though an occasional YIPES and dash is permitted. You are level 1, wearing only clothing, and carrying your favorite rusty trusty dagger. The rule is you make a saved game every 5 minutes and must restart from the latest saved game.
Start with Skyrim, at Stendarr's Beacon having just come up from Cyrodil and head for Northwatch keep on the shores of the Sea of Ghosts. Lions and bandits and bears, oh my!
Then Oblivion. You have two choices here. Anvil to Dive Rock via Cheydinhal Leyawin to Bruma. With the latter you can swim over 3/4s of the way. Watch for imps and orcs.
And Morrowind. Again two choices. Seyda Neen to Dagon Fel or Tel Branora to Ald Velothi.
Skyrim tried to correct it's predecessor. They did pretty good. This hike is a pretty good workout. It can take from two to three hours of game play and the scenery is very nice. (Skyrim trivia. Did you know Whiterun is on the northern half of the map?)
Oblivion. Sigh. Elder Scrolls on a budget. Either jaunt takes an hour to an hour and a half or a half hour if you swim.
Morrowind. If you have any sense of self preservation you want to avoid the Ashlands, keeping to the roads to the west. That makes the Seyda Neen stroll a little faster. With a little luck only one eight hour day of game play, cliff racers permitting. If your most recent saved game was in the wrong place a couple of times that can turn into two or three days.
But the above is just the warm up. Now the fun begins. It's a casual stroll around the entire map. Stendarr to Stendarr, Anvil to Anvil and Seyda Neen to... it's academic. Like the emperor said to Luke. "And you my young jedi, you will not survive". I'm going to take the trips contrapuntally, about one in game day at a time. PS, swimming is not permitted, except to save the skin of yer ass.
"You can't go that way". No shirt, Sherlock. And after scrambling up that freaking cliff side for 45 minutes to boot. Whoever corrected Oblivion's gravity deserves a good hard kick in the privates. Never realized the rift was 700 miles across. Nice view though.
Ah, the Colovian Highlands. Lovely at any time of year. Have to watch it though. Several places where you can get stuck between a rock and a hard place. IE, an unclimbable hill and a "You can't go that way".
Just how big is this freaking swamp? Where did that cliff racer come from?
Had to take the road past Haemarr's something. At least the Rift is behind me. Now to discover another half dozen "You can't go that way" neon signs as we take in the north side of the Jerall mountains. Sshhhh! Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm dodging dragons. Omnipotent, all seeing all knowing dragons at that. Thou art dead.
Sancre Tor. Read some history about this place. Something about the worlds stupidest skeletons? RUN AWAY!!!!
Pant pant pant. Another day, another fetid reach of ooze. You're a what? Daedra? AHHHHHG!!!! I'm growing web feet. I know it. SAY WHAT?? I could have taken a boat here???
Nice view of Falkreath. I will dream of warming my toes at the inn as a slowly freeze to death. Killed a bear today. It fell off the cliff with me. Met a nice gal who gave me a bow and showed me how much of a clutz I am with one. Shot her in the ass. Supposedly I'm will be in the Reach tomorrow, whatever that is.
"You can't go that way." Dear game developers, how about some signs every furlong or so: 'Mountains ahead. We were too lazy and rushed to build anything interesting'.
"Dear mom. I doubt if you will ever read this letter. I'm having a wonderful time. I now have Swamp Fever, Helljoint and the Blight. A scamp and a mudcrab took turns killing me most of the day. Camping tonight near Ashrunakazoofus or something like that. I can hardly wait for the fun that lies ahead tomorrow."
Lions and bandits and lions and bears and bandits and a dragon. Got my ass bailed out by some legion dudes once, watched a dragon toast some other legion dudes. Will be in Markarth tomorrow. Guidebook says "Beware of quests getting shoved in your face" whatever that means.
Thank gads for low gravity. These mountains go on forever!! Took a break this morning to enjoy a vast sweeping view of a blizzard with little glimpses of Imperial city through the haze. Then I got eaten by some invisible monster. Had a brief glimpse of some goblins trying to climb the vertical cliff I was on top of. Pretty pathetic. Tomorrows forecast, more mountains.
Important safety tip. Avoid caves. Especially caves filled with dead people walking around and some nasty lady who incinerated me before I could say 'fart'. According to my map there is only a couple dozen more miles of swamp until I reach a city. At this rate it shouldn't take more than a week.
Stopped by Markarth briefly this morning. As I took in the architecture the strange cryptic words 'Los Angeles' kept running through my mind. Got shot of that place and made some serious progress as I wandered up some hills and mountains to the north. Now it's mostly about wolves, skeevers and some nature freaks called foresworn. By the looks of them it really should be foreplay.
Mountains and mountains and mountains. Then at last down some hills and into a scenic forest. Swamp forest. Blackwood. Turns out most of the wildlife of Cyrodil is deer and rats. Rats rats rats. Camped on the shores of the bay and will visit Leyawin tomorrtow, rats and goblins permitting.
The tourists guide calls them Clannfear. My list of 'things that want to eat me' is growing every day. Arrived in the metropolis of Gnar Mok at dusk only to discover it's name translates as 'Well this sucks'. Can't even get rid of my diseases here of which I think I now have five. Wanted to get an early start in the hopes of making it to Gnisis before next year. I immediately turned into slaughterfish bait. Avoiding the water it was only ten minutes before I discovered there are beetles that breath fire and met a scaly two legged mouth that can run faster than me.
Down to the shore of the sea of Ghosts. Made very good time today, catching a look at Solitude and managing to arrive in Dawnstar not too late in the evening. It was all about horkers, a couple of trolls and bears most of the day. Never even saw a dragon.
Just stopped briefly in Leyawin and left wondering why I stopped there. Made very good time throughout the day strolling north through gentle rolling hills, rats, and the occasional imp. Been avoiding the cities as the countryside is so lovely with only one "You can't go that way" mishap. Arrived in Skingrad at dusk. A comfy room after a hearty meal before a fire.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! Gnisis might as well be on the back side of the moon at this rate. Am I carrying an EAT ME sign I don't know about? Seriously damaged goods, I managed to drag myself into the city around midnight. I think I polluted the altar getting healed.
On down the shoreline, dodging deadly horkers and the occasional rat. Passed the lovely blight called Windhelm, did some fancy steps and dancing around 2 dragons and four or five bears. Camped off the trail and the slog on up towards Shore's Stone after finding a wolf free zone. Expect to get past Riften before noon tommorw and Stendarr's Beacon before dusk. An interesting hike it's been.
Picked a lot of flowers today. Managed to kill a rat without serious bodily harm and avoided a rather moronic imp floating above the road. A comfortable stroll and on down the hill to Anvil once more.
I resolved to take a boat or silt strider today but the healing last night left me flat broke. Caught a disease less than 10 minutes out from Gnisis. Am having serious second thoughts about my choice of vacation. And having even more serious doubts about my chances of survival. I WANT MY MOMMY!!
Start with Skyrim, at Stendarr's Beacon having just come up from Cyrodil and head for Northwatch keep on the shores of the Sea of Ghosts. Lions and bandits and bears, oh my!
Then Oblivion. You have two choices here. Anvil to Dive Rock via Cheydinhal Leyawin to Bruma. With the latter you can swim over 3/4s of the way. Watch for imps and orcs.
And Morrowind. Again two choices. Seyda Neen to Dagon Fel or Tel Branora to Ald Velothi.
Skyrim tried to correct it's predecessor. They did pretty good. This hike is a pretty good workout. It can take from two to three hours of game play and the scenery is very nice. (Skyrim trivia. Did you know Whiterun is on the northern half of the map?)
Oblivion. Sigh. Elder Scrolls on a budget. Either jaunt takes an hour to an hour and a half or a half hour if you swim.
Morrowind. If you have any sense of self preservation you want to avoid the Ashlands, keeping to the roads to the west. That makes the Seyda Neen stroll a little faster. With a little luck only one eight hour day of game play, cliff racers permitting. If your most recent saved game was in the wrong place a couple of times that can turn into two or three days.
But the above is just the warm up. Now the fun begins. It's a casual stroll around the entire map. Stendarr to Stendarr, Anvil to Anvil and Seyda Neen to... it's academic. Like the emperor said to Luke. "And you my young jedi, you will not survive". I'm going to take the trips contrapuntally, about one in game day at a time. PS, swimming is not permitted, except to save the skin of yer ass.
"You can't go that way". No shirt, Sherlock. And after scrambling up that freaking cliff side for 45 minutes to boot. Whoever corrected Oblivion's gravity deserves a good hard kick in the privates. Never realized the rift was 700 miles across. Nice view though.
Ah, the Colovian Highlands. Lovely at any time of year. Have to watch it though. Several places where you can get stuck between a rock and a hard place. IE, an unclimbable hill and a "You can't go that way".
Just how big is this freaking swamp? Where did that cliff racer come from?
Had to take the road past Haemarr's something. At least the Rift is behind me. Now to discover another half dozen "You can't go that way" neon signs as we take in the north side of the Jerall mountains. Sshhhh! Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm dodging dragons. Omnipotent, all seeing all knowing dragons at that. Thou art dead.
Sancre Tor. Read some history about this place. Something about the worlds stupidest skeletons? RUN AWAY!!!!
Pant pant pant. Another day, another fetid reach of ooze. You're a what? Daedra? AHHHHHG!!!! I'm growing web feet. I know it. SAY WHAT?? I could have taken a boat here???
Nice view of Falkreath. I will dream of warming my toes at the inn as a slowly freeze to death. Killed a bear today. It fell off the cliff with me. Met a nice gal who gave me a bow and showed me how much of a clutz I am with one. Shot her in the ass. Supposedly I'm will be in the Reach tomorrow, whatever that is.
"You can't go that way." Dear game developers, how about some signs every furlong or so: 'Mountains ahead. We were too lazy and rushed to build anything interesting'.
"Dear mom. I doubt if you will ever read this letter. I'm having a wonderful time. I now have Swamp Fever, Helljoint and the Blight. A scamp and a mudcrab took turns killing me most of the day. Camping tonight near Ashrunakazoofus or something like that. I can hardly wait for the fun that lies ahead tomorrow."
Lions and bandits and lions and bears and bandits and a dragon. Got my ass bailed out by some legion dudes once, watched a dragon toast some other legion dudes. Will be in Markarth tomorrow. Guidebook says "Beware of quests getting shoved in your face" whatever that means.
Thank gads for low gravity. These mountains go on forever!! Took a break this morning to enjoy a vast sweeping view of a blizzard with little glimpses of Imperial city through the haze. Then I got eaten by some invisible monster. Had a brief glimpse of some goblins trying to climb the vertical cliff I was on top of. Pretty pathetic. Tomorrows forecast, more mountains.
Important safety tip. Avoid caves. Especially caves filled with dead people walking around and some nasty lady who incinerated me before I could say 'fart'. According to my map there is only a couple dozen more miles of swamp until I reach a city. At this rate it shouldn't take more than a week.
Stopped by Markarth briefly this morning. As I took in the architecture the strange cryptic words 'Los Angeles' kept running through my mind. Got shot of that place and made some serious progress as I wandered up some hills and mountains to the north. Now it's mostly about wolves, skeevers and some nature freaks called foresworn. By the looks of them it really should be foreplay.
Mountains and mountains and mountains. Then at last down some hills and into a scenic forest. Swamp forest. Blackwood. Turns out most of the wildlife of Cyrodil is deer and rats. Rats rats rats. Camped on the shores of the bay and will visit Leyawin tomorrtow, rats and goblins permitting.
The tourists guide calls them Clannfear. My list of 'things that want to eat me' is growing every day. Arrived in the metropolis of Gnar Mok at dusk only to discover it's name translates as 'Well this sucks'. Can't even get rid of my diseases here of which I think I now have five. Wanted to get an early start in the hopes of making it to Gnisis before next year. I immediately turned into slaughterfish bait. Avoiding the water it was only ten minutes before I discovered there are beetles that breath fire and met a scaly two legged mouth that can run faster than me.
Down to the shore of the sea of Ghosts. Made very good time today, catching a look at Solitude and managing to arrive in Dawnstar not too late in the evening. It was all about horkers, a couple of trolls and bears most of the day. Never even saw a dragon.
Just stopped briefly in Leyawin and left wondering why I stopped there. Made very good time throughout the day strolling north through gentle rolling hills, rats, and the occasional imp. Been avoiding the cities as the countryside is so lovely with only one "You can't go that way" mishap. Arrived in Skingrad at dusk. A comfy room after a hearty meal before a fire.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! Gnisis might as well be on the back side of the moon at this rate. Am I carrying an EAT ME sign I don't know about? Seriously damaged goods, I managed to drag myself into the city around midnight. I think I polluted the altar getting healed.
On down the shoreline, dodging deadly horkers and the occasional rat. Passed the lovely blight called Windhelm, did some fancy steps and dancing around 2 dragons and four or five bears. Camped off the trail and the slog on up towards Shore's Stone after finding a wolf free zone. Expect to get past Riften before noon tommorw and Stendarr's Beacon before dusk. An interesting hike it's been.
Picked a lot of flowers today. Managed to kill a rat without serious bodily harm and avoided a rather moronic imp floating above the road. A comfortable stroll and on down the hill to Anvil once more.
I resolved to take a boat or silt strider today but the healing last night left me flat broke. Caught a disease less than 10 minutes out from Gnisis. Am having serious second thoughts about my choice of vacation. And having even more serious doubts about my chances of survival. I WANT MY MOMMY!!